WEBVTT
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Hey Coupley Fit fam.
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Welcome back to the Coupley Fit podcast.
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We are talking all things health, marriage and mindset.
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We are Curt and Deanna Mangum II, your hosts.
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In this episode.
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We are going to be talking about resetting your body and mind with 10 spring cleaning tips.
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And the timing is perfect, because I feel like everyone is so hyper focused on wellness and your goals and new year's resolutions in January and it's like three months later, where are we with?
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Those goals and those resolutions and all the things and it's like I'll kind of push it off.
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I think the timing is perfect to dive into some of these tips.
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Yes.
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So we wanted to talk more about this too, because, yes, it's going to be a little of a of a trend topic, but then it also is something I feel like if we can have actionable steps that are relatively easy to make a small change, then that's going to be able to help us, and so we're going to be talking from a whole person approach.
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So first we're going to start with relationship and then we're going into physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
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So first and foremost, we'll start with relationship.
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Yeah, when I think about on a relationship tip things that we can do to reset, and that spring cleaning is one active listening, I feel like so often it can be a situation where you feel like someone's not hearing you or you feel like there's an opportunity to connect more with your partner.
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But a lot of times the root of that is listening to what they're saying, sometimes what they're not directly saying but they're kind of like signaling to you and I think that's such a huge one too, because one you can actively listen.
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And then I also think about when we respond or how we respond making sure the tone and the energy is positive and what you want versus maybe not so much of what you want, like I think about.
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Earlier today, like literally before we came to film the episode, I was thinking about my tone when I said, hey, let's make sure we got like all of our rings.
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I didn't have my ring on yet, I didn't want you to forget your ring, but I realized I was like after I said it, like my tone was like elevated.
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And we say tone.
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Ranger tone.
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Rangeranger, that's like.
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So if anybody needs a tone, we need to figure out you.
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We were a little too high.
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You were a little too high.
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I need you to bring it down.
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I don't know who you're talking to I don't know, I don't know.
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So, tone ranger, I like that, but that's something that other people could use.
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Is like, if we say that to each other, it's almost like that's an apology, but it's like me, or I don't say that's not, but it's more so acknowledge.
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It's more so acknowledging that that was out of tone or that was a higher tone and that could be accompanied by an apology.
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Yes, 100%, and I think you're so right.
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Active listening is something that is critical in a relationship, whether that is romantic, familial, whatever that looks like for you, just to make sure that you're continuously.
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Yes, you can hear me, I hear what you're saying, but are you listening to what I'm saying and is it processing and are you understanding kind of the tone or the point that I'm trying to get across?
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So number two is going to be to continuously date your spouse.
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You will always hear us talk about dating your spouse.
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I will say it does come a little bit more from the men's standpoint that I've heard, where men are thinking well, I, I dated you, we got married, I've got you now, so what do we need to date for?
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And I think that that is something that we can change that mindset, because when you're dating your spouse throughout your relationship, it's going to just bring back those nostalgic feelings.
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It's going to bring you back kind of reset almost in a way, and so going back to kind of spring cleaning tips, that's a great way to reset Something that I appreciate that you do.
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That is dating your spouse.
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But just something that is very small is any order that I have you my shoe size, my pant size, you know, uh, my shirt size.
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You actually write down under my contact in your phone like hey, this is her order at Starbucks, this is her order when we go to Chick-fil-A, this is her, you know, shoe size and those things.
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So I really appreciate that.
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But that allows you to, on the male side, to be able to say hey, it's Friday, I'm heading home from work.
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Let me look at my contact for my wife and see, oh, she loves lilies.
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So now let me just go to the store.
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And again, you can go to any grocery store.
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They're right in the front.
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You can grab a bouquet of lilies or just flowers in general, but something that you know that she's going to like, and I feel like that's a great way to kind of keep that spark alive and also just reset sometimes if you were in a little bit of a rut 100%.
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I think that's a great call out that you made too of for the men.
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You have to continue to date your spouse because the idea that I already have her you can lose her at any point in time, especially with social media.
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Come on now we see it.
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I'm not judging Offset and Cardi B, but somebody swooped in on Cardi.
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I saw that recently.
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People were saying he's sad and it happens, right.
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But I'm sure, looking back, there are those opportunities where you could have been doing more active listening.
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You could have been dating your spouse and not losing track of the fact that you need to have that quality time together and to connect and for it to be just the two of you.
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And yeah, I appreciate you acknowledging that too, because I I don't expect to memorize everything and know all like every shoe size.
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Sometimes I just want to call out like every shoe is not the same fit.
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So, like me, I'm like, I'm like a 13 pretty much across the board.
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It's like it could be a this, it could be a this right.
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So being able to know.
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And for the guys too, it is a.
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It's really more the mindfulness and the little things of cause.
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The flowers might cost you 20 bucks, 25.
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And they got some.
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You can go into fries and get some for 15.
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Like it's not the price.
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The dollar store has cards for $1, but you can do cards flowers once a month, so it doesn't have to be once a week, it could be once a month, but that $30 that you invested and then putting a time on a calendar and going out on a date or going out to dinner or making dinner if you don't have the money, and maybe eating it on the patio or just creating that date or that time that experience.
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It shows that you cared.
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It shows that you put time and effort in and your spouse is going to effort.
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Your spouse is going to be able to acknowledge and see that.
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Because I know, like, let's just keep it real.
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The guys put a lot of effort in on other things.
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No, like, let's just keep it real.
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The guys put a lot of effort in on other things.
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You know, just effort on, you know, fantasy draft.
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I know, guys, that I mean the fantasy draft is like that's a whole nother world.
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There's things out throughout the entire year, checkpoints, and it's a lot of effort, yes, but we don't necessarily always put that time in on, like our spouse and in our household yes, I'm gonna say something that may hit some people in the heart a little bit.
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I personally believe that there should never be an anniversary or a birthday of your spouse and even your children that is missed in the sense of it should be on your Google calendar.
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If you have a Gmail account, then you can have a Google calendar.
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Put it in your calendar to repeat once a year on this day.
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Put out you know, there's a section where you can have a reminder of hey, remind me a day or two before so that I can think of something when, when your significant other misses your birthday, misses an anniversary or a special date, that is almost heartbreaking in some ways, and it's once a year that it comes around, and so I personally, I heavily believe that it should not be missed and that something should be done, even if it's on a smaller scale, because we were talking about, you know there were some times, or you know we just didn't outright have the money to be able to do something, and that's okay.
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If you do something at home, that is thoughtful, right.
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You can go to Michael's too and just grab, like you know, some you know not even $15, like $10 paint set, and then you can get like a bottle of wine and now you have your own paint and sip at home, right like those little things that go so far I think is huge when you're talking about dating your spouse and fellas.
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I mean you know you mentioned hitting some people close to the heart right there, but for the fellas, I mean when's the last time you missed the Super Bowl?
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I mean when's the last time you missed Super Bowl Sunday?
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I don't, I don't think.
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I mean I can't remember the last time.
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I missed Super Bowl Sunday, so I feel like treating the birthdays, the anniversaries, the same way as you would do a Super Bowl Sunday it's the same day.
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Or whatever that Super Bowl is for you Every year.
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Because if it's the NBA playoffs or March Madness, whatever that is, put it on the calendar.
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Put it on the calendar Right.
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A part of the spring cleaning can be prioritizing, making your partner a priority and putting forth or showing that effort.
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Correct.
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Yes, love that.
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So then we're going to jump into.
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When we talk about resetting your body, we're talking about your physical health.
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So what's one of the things that you would suggest that somebody do as a tip for spring cleaning their physical health?
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Yeah, the physical health.
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I think it goes back to what we always talk about and preach, which is, you know, swan is an acronym sleep, water, activity, nutrition and just finding ways to do each of them more.
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So that's something I know.
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We you know ways that I'm thinking about how I'm doing that right now.
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And the kind of spring reset is one after we dinner, like let me actually go back to the bedroom and go to sleep, like making it a more formal bedtime versus I'm gonna have a snack, I'm gonna have dinner, I'm gonna have a snack, I'm gonna fall asleep on the couch.
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I'm gonna wake up in the middle of the night and have to go back to the bedroom and my sleep is like interrupted versus like it's actually bedtime.
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I need to head back right now, before it's time to pass out, and like get that good sleep and rest.
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Yes, you're so right and swan, the great thing about that is that that goes into.
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That's going to help you in all aspects, because when you feel better, you're going to do better.
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You're going to be able to have more, even compassion for others.
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It leads into so many areas of your life when you feel better and when, as we always say, get your swan on.
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So emphasize on that sleep, making sure you drink water again.
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We always talk about it's just one percent better every day.
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That's it.
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So if you had one bottle of water yesterday, try to have two today.
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On the activity if you were able to walk 15 minutes yesterday, maybe try to walk 30 today.
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Same on the nutrition if you are, you know somebody who is more of a meal person and you're not having the snacks in between, but you notice that you might binge, eat a little bit in between.
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Having some healthier snacks that you can add into.
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All of these little small tweaks and changes are going to help you so much overall when it comes to your physical health 100%.
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Yes, and so I also think on the physical side is just updating your routine and when we say that, when we talk about your routine, that can be your actual workout routine and updating that.
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Thankfully, in Arizona it's not I mean, last week was a little bit hot, but it's not as hot now.
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We're kind of in the 70s and 80s.
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This is a great opportunity to go out and hike mountains.
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This is a great opportunity to go out on the few lakes that we have.
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This is a great opportunity for you to walk outside, bike outside, those type of things where you can just update your routine a little bit or even add in something that you've been wanting to do for some time but maybe the weather didn't permit or it wasn't the right timing for you.
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But just updating that routine, giving a little bit of spring cleaning, a little spice to it, will also help to reinvigorate you and help that motivation and even the inspiration for you as well.
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Yeah, 100 percent.
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I really like that, that you mentioned that on the physical side and then updating the routine, because for me I was wanting to do like a little bit of a reset.
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Where I was, I found myself yo-yoing a little bit with my nutrition and kind of gaining some weight.
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I would lose it and then I'm gaining weight back because I do enjoy to eat, like that's just to be real, but then doing like 75 hard for a little bit it kind of turned into 75 medium because I had some conferences and travel and so you know it was like I did have that drink or two, but I did get active, I did get active inside, outside.
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I did all the other things but I just like some of those elements.
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I really like the elements of the challenge of, like the mindset, the reading 10 pages of a book.
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The theme of it is it's going to be hard but kind of committing to 75 days of making a healthier habit or making a healthier change, Taking a before and after photo, like taking a progress photo each day taking a before and after photo, like taking a progress photo each day.
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So like the pieces like that I've definitely been doing and I've noticed that it's been helpful in updating my routine and kind of doing a little bit of that reset for the spring as well.
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Yes, and I just want to quickly say because you were talking about yo-yoing and that's something that we've discussed over time too and you're asking me hey, can you hold me accountable in this space, and can you also help me maybe by portioning out my snacks?
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And I think that's another thing too is, ask your spouse, ask your partner, ask even your best friend, anybody that you think is going to help you stay accountable.
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Hey, this is something that I'm struggling with.
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Can you help me?
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Whenever I may feel weak or I may feel like you know, just yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to eat it anyways, you might, you know, gently and compassionately, tell me that there's maybe other options or that, hey, maybe let's, uh, indulge a little bit, but let's maybe not eat the whole thing.
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Right, those types of things too.
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But it leads to compassion for yourself.
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Realize and grace for yourself that you are still learning, you are still implementing changes that are difficult, and it's okay if every once in a while, you slip up, or every once in a while, it's like I wasn't going to eat this pizza, but you know what, I really enjoy this type of pizza and I'm going to have it today.
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That's okay.
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Going back to kind of that 80-20 perspective.
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80% of the time, try to live that healthy lifestyle.
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20% live a little right Like we are human beings.
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There's a lot of good food out there specifically, so enjoy yourself a little bit, but don't over indulge as often, because that can lead again to like you were saying with the yo-yo dieting.
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Yeah, and to that point I mean I had cookies.
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I'm sorry, not cookies.
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I wanted cookies yesterday, but I had pizza yesterday.
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Shout out, spinato, spinato had pizza yesterday.
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But it's sometimes to that 80 20 mindset is like 80 percent of the time I'm gonna make a healthier choice, but 20 percent I'm gonna also like enjoy what I love.
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And I appreciate that accountability and that balance because it it's those little adjustments that go towards a bigger overall change because, like when it comes to the pizza, we still got pizza, which was great, even had an adult beverage, which was great as well, but didn't get extra breadsticks or like wings.
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I didn't get the cookie that I saw pass by me that looks so good.
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I was like you know what, I'm going to let that cookie slide, it's giving Kazuki vibes.
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You know what I'm saying.
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But being able to have that accountability with your partner, because sometimes it is hard to have that self-control, to be like you know what, Especially, too, when it's like I almost like to say the moments that people don't see.
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It's like it's easy to sometimes pass on the pizookie when you're out, but like when you're at home and it's like nobody's watching me.
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I got all the snacks, Ooh right.
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And it can be a slippery slope.
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So I appreciate you making things like the yogurt bars and, you know, even portioning some of the snacks and things like that, because naturally I realized like, oh, if I, if I've run through three Ziploc bags, I've gone through three servings or three separate portions, yeah, that's too much.
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So yeah, that that that teamwork really helps.
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Absolutely.
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It's on both ends too, so I appreciate you.
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Okay, now we're going to talk a little bit about how you can reset your mind.
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So, when we talk about mental health, or just even mental fitness, what are some tips that you would have?
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Yeah, I think one of the great ones is setting boundaries for your mental health, and I think about and this is something that you hit me to, which was the power hour, and so power hour is how you start your day.
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We want to be the thermostat, not the thermometer, meaning we want to set the tone versus adjusting to what the energy might be in the room Right, and so one of the ways we can do that with settering boundaries is not getting on our phone first thing in the morning.
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It's easy to jump to the notifications, the emails, the work, the slack, the whatever, but realizing like, let me, actually like, settle, let me.
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I just woke up.
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I just woke up, let me meditate, let me journal, let me be able to go into my Bible or my devotional and, like, set the stage where now I'm coming into the day, I'm coming into whatever's waiting for me on my phone, with the right mindset and focus.
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And I think that's a good boundary, aside from the boundaries of people, but like I think that's a great boundary just to start with.
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Is that time in that first thing in the morning?
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Yes, I think to add to your point too is remembering that no is a complete sentence.
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When you tell somebody that, no, I'm not going to do this, or no, I'm going to, I'm going to now turn down some opportunities because I've noticed that it's maybe taking away from my mental space, my mental capacity, which is then affecting maybe my kids or is affecting my relationships, no is a complete sentence.
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And if somebody does not respect that boundary, that's when then you may need to reevaluate how you're interacting with that person, because that person should understand if they are a passion partner, they should understand that.
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Okay, you said no, I completely respect that.
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I'm not going to ask you again, or I'm going to ask you at a later date, but right now it's a no.
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And then also, how can I support you, maybe as you're going through your mental journey, and is there anything that I can do to help?
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I think those are really some great opportunities there too 100%.
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Something else that just triggered me when you said the passion partner side and also the boundaries Watch how people respond when you say no, because when you say no to somebody and if they change up and all of a sudden, they're yelling at you, they're cussing you out, or they're talking behind your back or all of a sudden you ain't no good.
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No more, hold on.
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I just said no to you one time, one time.
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I just can't do it today.
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So a lot of times you find out more about people that are around you and that leads to something else.
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You want to surround yourself with people that want something for you and not from you.
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So many times people want something from you, they want to take but they don't want to give, they don't want to pour in right.
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And you said passion partner and you know we had a pastor that used the term.
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People fall into three categories.
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I love this.
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Passion.
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Partners, meaning they're adding to your life before they take away from it.
00:18:24.365 --> 00:18:29.207
Parasites meaning they're latched on and they're just kind of sucking the life out of you, right?
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Someone that you spent time with and you feel drained.
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Drained afterwards.
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Like what just happened, I'm tired.
00:18:33.842 --> 00:18:33.962
Yes.
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That's a parasite.
00:18:35.326 --> 00:18:40.492
And then you also have pirates, which are people that think about a pirate on a ship coming and they take over.
00:18:40.492 --> 00:18:44.346
Have you ever had somebody you shared an idea with and all of a sudden they are doing your?
00:18:44.426 --> 00:18:44.728
idea.
00:18:44.748 --> 00:18:55.244
You're just like dude, I told you you stole my idea, you stole my look whatever that look.
00:18:55.244 --> 00:18:55.787
Yes, outfit whatever.
00:18:55.787 --> 00:18:56.269
That's a pirate.
00:18:56.269 --> 00:19:08.066
So out of those three categories and some people can fall into multiple categories but if they're not passion partner, if they fall into parasite or a pirate, those are people that you need to set boundaries from and move away from, because they're not helping you get closer to peace and prosperity.
00:19:08.646 --> 00:19:33.240
Oh yeah, I'm so glad that you said that, because that was something I was going to mention too, and those three categories it can work for again a romantic relationship, a familial relationship, your friends as well, because sometimes friends do overstep their boundaries sometimes and they think that there may only be for them, and you have to realize that, okay, maybe I'm spread too thin right now and going back to that no is a complete sentence.
00:19:33.721 --> 00:19:36.329
And then also, when I told you no, how did you react?
00:19:36.329 --> 00:19:42.799
Because that's going to tell me a lot about you and then potentially your character, and then I may need to make some moves.
00:19:42.799 --> 00:20:08.067
I may need to not necessarily talk to you as often and, interesting enough, we've had some situations like that in our personal lives, where it just kind of things just fizzled out like you weren't, you weren't reaching out to me, I'm not reaching out to you, and that's just what it is, but it's God kind of moving people out of the way for you so that you can find your tribe and to that point I laugh a little because I thought about the Michelle Obama podcast and she used the term the slow ghost.
00:20:08.367 --> 00:20:09.530
Slow ghost.
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Bye.
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Fade to black.
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They just it's everybody.
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It's like the Homer Simpson meme, where he's fading into the bushes.
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And that's literally what happens with certain friends and sometimes there doesn't need to be a conversation of like we fell out or we're not friends anymore.
00:20:21.721 --> 00:20:26.830
Because there's typically one of two things it's either the slow ghost and you just kind of slowly fade away.
00:20:26.830 --> 00:20:28.311
You're ghost and you just kind of slowly fade away.
00:20:28.311 --> 00:20:30.353
You're they're liking less, they're commenting on less pics, they're texting you less.
00:20:30.353 --> 00:20:38.077
And then there's also that friendships where you may not talk every day but you see that person, it's as if you just were with them the day before.
00:20:38.077 --> 00:20:47.606
So like you can find that out of those true passion partners you don't have to talk to a friend every day or every week to have that friendship still be good and authentic.
00:20:47.606 --> 00:20:48.788
So it's just.
00:20:48.788 --> 00:20:56.751
But I love that slow ghost because those pirates and parasites are people that sometimes you just got a slow ghost and just fade away Fades black.
00:20:59.061 --> 00:21:09.528
So, on the mental health side, too, something that we love to always do and you've heard it if you've listened to some of the other episodes that we've recorded is practicing gratitude.
00:21:09.528 --> 00:21:31.249
I can't even tell you, on the way here, as we were driving to film this episode, we were going through a neighborhood where we were seeing multiple unhoused people and I remember thinking to myself like I'm so grateful that we just have a car, I'm so grateful that we have gas, I'm so grateful that we woke up this morning, I'm so grateful that we have each other.
00:21:31.249 --> 00:21:34.396
I am the smallest things.
00:21:34.396 --> 00:21:41.252
When you see somebody who doesn't have, you remind yourself, like I, what was I even complaining about before?
00:21:41.252 --> 00:21:55.036
It was so, um, it was something that was so small that somebody who may be unhoused or maybe in a different situation would love to have what you have, but you're complaining about it.
00:21:55.099 --> 00:22:10.618
And so just shifting that mindset to practice that gratitude and something we like to do too, is, again, it's opening our Bible for us and reading God's word and seeing that how often gratitude plays a role and how grateful we are that I wake up.
00:22:10.618 --> 00:22:14.615
I wake up every morning and I say I'm so grateful that God woke me up this morning.
00:22:14.615 --> 00:22:35.205
I pray for you, I pray for my you know our families and I think, the more that we can practice gratitude for the small things, when those big opportunities or those big um, you know deals whatever that looks like for you come your way, you have so much grounded gratitude that it's, it's becomes now.
00:22:35.205 --> 00:22:41.558
I don't want to spoil this or I don't want to see this go away.
00:22:41.558 --> 00:22:50.240
Maybe let me see how I can share this with others, but I know that I'm grounded in my gratitude of how just absolutely grateful we are for the smallest of things.
00:22:51.064 --> 00:22:58.547
I mean, it's so important to your point on the gratitude and being able to remind ourselves of that, and it's so key to also write that down.
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And I think the journaling, which has been a game changer for us.
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But when we write it down and you know I've got an actual journal then I have like my daily agendas, but there's a space on both to write what I'm grateful for.
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And it's like three things on the journal and I can write I'm grateful for you, I'm grateful I woke up this morning, I'm grateful that you know our accounts aren't in the negative right, like all of those things I'm grateful for.
00:23:20.926 --> 00:23:31.549
And then I have my joy list, which is like almost like a um, like a page marker in my journal, but it has all the things I'm joyful for.
00:23:31.549 --> 00:23:34.803
Again, you're on the list, you know the prosperity, just the blessings, healthy, all of these things.
00:23:34.803 --> 00:23:41.769
So it can help remind you because when you're having a bad day it's easy to just be down on yourself and be like everything is bad.
00:23:41.970 --> 00:23:43.480
Everything's going wrong, struggling yeah.
